As a psychic medium, I’ve learned that life is full of things that can feel out of our control—whether it’s the external world, our relationships, or even our own emotions. However, it’s important to remember that we have more control over our lives than we often realize.
In a world filled with challenges, responsibilities, and unexpected situations, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless. To help manage these feelings and foster a mindset that leads to effective problem-solving and personal growth, many people turn to the concept of the “Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern.”
Originally popularized by Stephen Covey in his bestselling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, this framework offers a structured way to categorize our thoughts, actions, and emotions.
By understanding the three circles, we can focus our energy and resources on what truly matters, leading to more productive, resilient, and fulfilled lives.
Let’s take a closer look at each circle, how they interact with each other, and how we can use them to prioritize our thoughts and actions more effectively.
1. The Circle of Concern
The Circle of Concern encompasses everything that you care about but may not necessarily have any control or influence over. This circle includes global issues, weather patterns, economic conditions, other people's opinions, and even the passing of time. These are things that impact our lives in one way or another, but we can’t directly affect or change them.
Common examples of concerns in this circle include:
Global events like economic recessions, climate change, and political turmoil.
Health pandemics or other natural disasters that may affect people across the globe.
Other people's choices and beliefs, whether they are close to us or distant acquaintances.
The future and all the unknowns it holds.
It’s natural to feel worried about things in the Circle of Concern. However, if we focus too much on what we cannot control, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness. People who spend a lot of time in the Circle of Concern may feel drained or experience “paralysis by analysis” — where they overthink situations without finding any productive outcomes.
To manage this, we need to accept that certain things are beyond our influence and shift our focus away from them. By mentally acknowledging these concerns without dwelling on them, we free up our mental resources for more effective, positive action.
2. The Circle of Influence
Within the Circle of Concern lies the Circle of Influence, which encompasses areas we can impact to some degree. This circle includes the people, situations, and events where our actions or attitudes can make a difference, even if we don’t have full control.
Examples of things within the Circle of Influence include:
Relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
Professional goals where we have input or influence, like leading a team or working on a project.
Social circles and communities where our words, actions, or involvement can inspire others or enact change.
Personal health through our diet, exercise habits, and choices in lifestyle.
When we focus on the Circle of Influence, we take proactive steps to improve our lives and positively impact those around us. People who center their energy in this circle are more likely to foster strong relationships, achieve personal and professional growth, and experience a sense of empowerment.
By prioritizing things within the Circle of Influence, we become more solution-oriented and start developing the skills, habits, and mindset necessary to make meaningful change. For example, if you’re concerned about the impact of climate change (which falls in the Circle of Concern), you can shift focus to your Circle of Influence by adopting eco-friendly habits or supporting local environmental initiatives.
Expanding Your Circle of Influence
Another powerful aspect of focusing on the Circle of Influence is that, over time, it can expand. As we build trust, develop new skills, and become more effective in our actions, we gain more influence in different areas of our lives. This means that our positive efforts can often expand our sphere of influence, allowing us to create even greater change in our lives and communities.
3. The Circle of Control
At the core of both the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence lies the Circle of Control. This is the smallest of the three circles, but it is also the most powerful because it represents things over which we have direct control. The Circle of Control includes our actions, reactions, thoughts, and choices. No matter what happens around us, we always have control over how we respond.
Some examples of what lies in the Circle of Control include:
Our attitudes and beliefs, such as choosing to be optimistic or cultivating a growth mindset.
Daily habits and routines, like prioritizing self-care, exercise, and mental well-being.
Emotional responses to people or situations, allowing us to respond calmly rather than react impulsively.
Personal goals that are realistic and achievable through individual effort.
By focusing on what we can control, we build confidence and resilience. We stop wasting energy on things we cannot change and, instead, focus on what we can do to move forward. People who spend more time working within their Circle of Control tend to experience a greater sense of purpose, reduced stress levels, and increased productivity.
Why the Circle of Control Is So Empowering
The Circle of Control empowers us by reminding us of our agency. When faced with a challenging situation, we can choose our perspective, reframe the problem, or take small, manageable actions that align with our values and goals.
For example, if a project at work is delayed due to external factors (something in the Circle of Concern), you can focus on staying productive, improving communication, or supporting teammates — all actions within your Circle of Control.
How the Circles Interact and Complement Each Other
While each circle serves a distinct purpose, they are not mutually exclusive. The circles are interconnected, and by understanding how they relate, we can use them to create a balanced approach to life’s challenges. Here’s how to make the most out of each circle in a practical way:
1. Acknowledge Your Concerns Without Obsession: Recognize the concerns outside of your control but strive to avoid dwelling on them. This is especially important for mental well-being. For instance, if you’re worried about global issues, avoid excessive consumption of negative news and focus instead on positive actions within your control and influence.
2. Prioritize Action Within Your Influence: Once you recognize what’s beyond your reach, direct your attention to areas where you have influence. If you’re passionate about social issues, consider volunteering, donating, or sharing information responsibly. This approach allows you to make an impact, even if it’s a small one, while preserving your mental and emotional energy.
3. Cultivate Strength Within Your Circle of Control: When facing challenges, ask yourself, “What can I control in this situation?” Developing a focus on your Circle of Control helps keep you grounded, resilient, and adaptable, even in times of uncertainty. This is also where personal growth happens, as we improve self-discipline, adopt healthy habits, and practice emotional regulation.
Practical Tips for Applying the Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern
Applying these principles to your daily life can provide you with clarity and reduce anxiety. Here are some actionable steps:
Use a Journal: Reflect on current challenges and categorize them into the three circles. Writing them down can help you clarify where to focus your energy and let go of concerns that aren’t actionable.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness helps you stay present and better distinguish between the things you can control and those you can’t. It encourages acceptance of external situations, while empowering you to focus on internal choices.
Reframe Your Perspective: In situations where you feel powerless, shift your focus to questions like, “How can I improve this situation?” or “What can I learn from this?” This keeps you proactive and engaged.
Learn to Let Go: Practice consciously letting go of concerns outside your control, reminding yourself that worrying won’t change the outcome. Instead, redirect your attention to constructive actions.
Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate progress, even in small steps, within your Circle of Control and Circle of Influence. This reinforces a positive mindset and encourages continuous growth.
The Benefits of Using the Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern
When applied consistently, the Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern help create a more balanced and fulfilling life. The benefits include:
Improved mental clarity and reduced anxiety: Focusing on what we can control and influence, rather than dwelling on overwhelming concerns, reduces stress and mental clutter.
Increased productivity: When you focus on actionable steps within your influence and control, you spend less time feeling stuck or helpless and more time making progress.
Enhanced relationships: Learning to set boundaries with people who drain your energy and concentrating on positive, reciprocal relationships makes for healthier connections.
Empowerment and personal growth: This framework helps you build resilience, confidence, and a proactive mindset, empowering you to handle future challenges effectively.
Conclusion
The Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern is a powerful framework for managing our energy, emotions, and actions in a world full of unwanted stress and uncertainties.
By understanding the differences between these circles and learning to focus on what we can control, we gain greater clarity, reduce stress, and foster a mindset that is constructive, resilient, and empowered.
With consistent practice, this approach can lead to more meaningful, effective, and fulfilling life choices, ultimately helping us to be more centered and intentional in everything we do.
About The Author-Meesh Carra
Meesh Carra, also known as "The Nomadic Medium," discovered her psychic abilities after a profound spiritual journey. Raised with a fascination for the unseen, she connected with her gifts through meditation, travel, and plant medicine ceremonies. With a background in Psychology and Sociology, she offers psychic and mediumship readings, helping people find closure and spiritual clarity. Having worked with individuals globally, Meesh integrates mindfulness into her practice to guide others toward their purpose.
For more, visit Meesh Carra's About page.
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